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So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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Then, I met up with my buddy, Oleg. We hit up this little café on Tsentralna Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. We were just chatting about life, you know? Oleg’s always got these crazy theories about consumer behavior. Like, he thinks people buy stuff just to impress their neighbors. I mean, maybe? But I just buy stuff because I like it!

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